Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

So we meet again… Well it’s more like good morning, as you are always there. It’s like a dance that will never end.

You have no idea how much you control my life, or maybe you do and you enjoy it. You change. Sometimes you are like a boulder on my chest, while other times you are like a stomach full of butterflies. Normally I can’t breathe and when I am able to I am scared I may hyperventilate.

You make being around people unbearable. Making new friends is impossible. Keeping old friends is just as hard. The social anxiety creeps up and makes me feel as if everyone is talking about me or wishes I would go away. Anxiety is lonely.

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If anxiety did to your insides what it does to your mind I imagine mine would be a big, black burned looking pit. It feels like it literally eats at me every day, takes a little bit of me each minute.

Most people think I am stuck up or awkward, what they don’t know is that I am waging a war every day in my own head. I try too hard to make people like me, thinking it may ease the tension building up in my chest.

Working terrifies me to the point that I dread going each morning, no matter what the job is. My anxiety reaches a point of no return until I know I have at least made it through the day without getting fired, even though I have done nothing wrong. Relationships with my superiors are unobtainable.

Anxiety you put a strain on my family. I know you take away from the mother and wife I could be. My husband deals with you as well. He is always there and tries to fight you off. I am so lucky to have him but of course you slip into that relationship as well and make me jealous and not fully trust him when there is not one ounce of reason why I should feel that way.

You take life’s and tear them apart. You are nothing but horrible but yet I still dance with you every day.

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Homemade Christmas

When Christmas rolls around it’s time to think about those people in your life that are important, but are not the top priorities on that gift list. So what do you do for those people??? Forget about them? Break the bank buying them all gifts? There is always the cookies and candy method… ((Which by the way I am a huge fan of. If you would like to bring me by cookies and candy ANY time of the year I will be more than happy to pass out my address.))

With the huge popularity of Pinterest nowadays there are many more options. I have a few that I am hoping to whip up this year and I thought I would share them with you.

Caramel Dip and Apples

How freaking cute are these!?!? Perfect for just about anyone. Just fill a mini mason jar with your favorite caramel dip, top with apple, wrap with cellophane and TA-DA! ((This would also be a great way to use up all those baby food jars you have been holding on to for some crafty purpose.))

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Just make sure you tie it with a cute ribbon and add a little tag to make it seem like you are the craftiest mom in your neighborhood.

Check out Mrs. January’s blog for more great ideas like this one. http://www.mrsjanuary.com/series/homemade-gift-ideas-for-teens/

Christmas Socks

Who doesn’t love a brand new pair of socks??? I know I am a sucker for them. Well why not find the cutest Christmas pair you can find and fill it with all sorts of Christmas goodies. You could fill it candy, chapstick, giftcards, etc.

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This would be fun for kids to give their friends and teachers as well.

This great idea comes from http://lifeinitsordinaryform.blogspot.com/2010/11/christmas-sock-exchange.html?m=1

Snowman Mason Jars

I think this is the one making the top of my list this year. Spoiler alert for anyone I was going to give this too. J Just fill a mason jar with white chocolate pretzels, hot glue on some buttons and add a scarf. How cute is that??

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Polkadot Chair has some super cute printables for the tag. http://www.polkadotchair.com/2013/12/snowman-mason-jar-craft-idea.html/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+ThePolkaDotChair+(The+Polka+Dot+Chair)

Hot Cocoa

Everyone loves getting hot cocoa this time of year, but let’s make it fun! You can fill pastry bags, ornaments, mugs, mason jars or whatever else you can think of with cocoa mix, marshmallows, crushed candy canes, sprinkles, chocolate chips… ok I am pretty sure you get the idea. Individualize each one.

Have fun with it!

Mason Jar Cocktails

Adults only but oh so fun… Put a can of whatever choice of beverage you would like in a mason jar… Tie on a mini bottle and a tag and you are good to go.

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Coke and whiskey, iced coffee and Baileys, Sprite and tequila, Dr. Pepper and rum, Red Bull and Jager… Pretty endless possibilities here.

Here are the instructions and a few other drink combinations. http://somethingturquoise.com/2014/11/28/diy-mason-jar-cocktail-gifts/

 

Remember no matter what you are giving it’s the thought that count… but cuteness goes a long way in my book. 🙂

 

 

Super Super Senior

I have been through and done a lot in my 31 years but only regret one of those things. The rest I take as a lesson and learn from it.

The one thing I regret is dropping out of high school. I’m not saying I haven’t done well in life for being a high school dropout. I was even able to attend community college before they got a bit stricter on the high school diploma thing. But in my head I always knew I took the easy way out. I walked away from a bad situation without fighting for it.

So now here I sit, a 31 year old high school student. I go to school once a week and do online courses. I rot my brain reading the same US History passage over and over. I kick myself in the ass because I could be spending time with my kids but instead I am writing essays about whether or not the Revolutionary War was political or economical in cause.
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31 years old and have never had to use my knowledge of the difference between x-ray microscopes and thermal microscopes; but what happens when my kids say they want to drop out because I did? I know I can tell them I wasn’t able to pursue my dreams, go to state college, yada, yada, yada… But I would rather explain to them why I shouldn’t have done it and why it is so important to have a diploma. So important that I am a 31 year old high school student.

Once I get that diploma I can’t wait to celebrate. I can honestly say that will be my proudest moment. I can say that despite all the obstacles in my life that I was able to stand up and take what is mine, and I hope my kids are proud of me too.