Divorced For The Holidays

As the holidays come near I can’t help but turn my mind to my kids and not for the normal reasons that you would during this season. My kids are a product of a divorced household. I am a product of a divorced household.

I was 11 when my parents called it quits. Ever since that time I have not been a fan of holidays, that was until I married my ex-husband. We had our two kids that we could celebrate with. I still struggled as many children of divorce do. Which parent do I see first? What Thanksgiving dinner do I attend? Do I see mom on Christmas and dad on Christmas Eve?

When my ex-husband and I divorced I felt the sour taste of holidays in my mouth all over again. Not only did I have to choose for myself but I also had to choose for my kids. Were we doomed to spend holidays apart, away from loved ones?

christmas ornament

Every year as Thanksgiving looms near I start to feel the same anxiety that I always do. I don’t feel holiday cheer; I feel the impending Christmas morning with no kids to wake up to see what Santa brought. I don’t look forward to meals with family; I stress over whose feeling I am going to hurt by not attending their dinner.

I dread the thought of my kids ever having to experience this. That’s why every holiday I put on my big girl smile and talk up the fun they are going to have at dads on Christmas morning and how I can’t wait to see them that afternoon to open gifts. This year I am planning a large Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday when they come home so we can still sit together and eat as a family.

So my gift that I want from every one of you that has to share your children, please don’t make your kids feel bad that they have to go to the other parent’s house during the holidays. Just let them know how much fun they are going to have and you will be waiting for them, arms open to them, always.

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